Shot down

Now, there are two things that James takes very seriously. #1 His garden and #2 Trash day (as previously explained). A couple trash days ago, James had the bright idea of combining the two by sneakily filling a fair amount of our trash can with unwanted dirt to make way for this years garden. I didn't say a word. This wasn't the first time he tested the resolve of our garbage man. Unbeknownst to the city, many yard trimmings (that they consider worthy of their own separate and expensive green can) have been mixed in with our regular trash bags over the past year. We are sinners.

At first we were wary of our good fortune. Each time we would watch behind closed blinds, worried that they would find us out and reject our offerings. However, after so many successes, we became comfortable and even brazen on Wednesday mornings. So much so that I bring Mason out on the front lawn in to see the impressive truck while I wear my frumpy robe unabashedly. We wave and cheer and have a jolly good time.

Until our fated dirt day.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly at first. The truck rounded the corner. We waved. The garbage man waved. He lined his truck up with our can, started to hoist and then stopped. Stopped! Our worst trash nightmare was happening! The garbage man got out and inspected our can and then our neighbor's. He then yelled over to me, "It is too heavy. The truck can only lift 200 lbs and this can was much heavier."

What the?!!! Had James snuck our entire backyard in the trashcan?!!! I then did what any good wife would do. I blamed it on my husband. After all, I was the one being yelled at in my old robe. Surely he could take some of the shame. With that the man softened and told me that he knew James had been filling ours and our neighbor's can with extra yard waste for some time, but that this was going too far. With that he took our neighbor's trash (thank heavens) and left, leaving our bulging trash can to stand dejectedly alone.

After I scuttled back inside, I found James blushing at the window. Too embarrassed to own up to it, eh (or to be seen with me. I was wearing my frumpy robe in public, I suppose)? In the end he got his. I made him deal with his mess while I ran errands. He told me later that the 200+ lbs. trashcan had tipped over right in front of the house while he scrambled to retrieve it. Everything fell out and he had to clean it up in front of everyone. We had a good laugh. I wish I could have been watching at the windows when that happened!

P.S. On a side note, I only removed some dirt from the heavy trash can. The following week, rumor has it, even more dirt was hauled off, concealed in a white garbage bag. That's right garbage man, you only think you've won. J.S.