Flashback Fridays: How did this happen?!!!!

This 24th of July marks six years since I was released from my service as a full-time missionary in West Virginia. That was a sad day. I was so excited to see my friends and family, but more than anything I just wanted them to all join me out in the mission field. I wanted the best of both worlds. Now my sister is about to start her mission adventure and I can't believe that I have been home for so long. Time sure flys when you are having fun. In honor of my anniversary, I thought I would share a mission story. I really hope this doesn't offend anyone.

How did this happen?!!!

One of the things I love about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that every person is welcome and loved. This works great for quirky people like me. As a result you end up meeting all sorts of people with all sorts of strengths and weaknesses. Good thing variety is the spice of life.

In my second area, we had a woman in our ward (let's call her Birtha) who had been an incredibly gifted scientist until she had some sort of breakdown that left her slightly of mentally handicapped. This did not stop her from coming to church every week with her daughter. Everyone loved her because she was as sweet and innocent as a lamb. One particular Sunday my companion and I decided to sit by Birtha and her daughter for sacrament meeting (the main congregational meeting of our church). Just before church started, a couple of our investigators showed up and so we scrunched together on the back pew to make room for them. I nervously hoped that everything would go smoothly so that our investigator friends would want to return again another Sunday.

Everything seemed to be going great (albeit very cramped as it was not a large pew and both the Birtha and her daughter were rather large) and I was snuggled between our new investigators and Birtha like a happy little clam. Suddenly Birtha whispered loudly, "I have to go to the bathroom!" Before I could respond, she bolted to her feet, throwing her leg over my lap to climb over me. Within seconds she was stuck and I found myself wedged awkwardly with my face engulfed in her backside! What was I to do?!!! It seemed that no amount of heave-hoeing was going to help the situation anytime soon, either. Because it all happened so fast and because it was so socially and physically uncomfortable, I couldn't help but start laughing out loud right there in sacrament meeting. Fortunately, my laughter was muffled by Birtha's butt or else that really would have made a scene!